Do you love what is potential or what is real in yourself and others? "Potential" is a story we tell ourselves, a story about an imagined future (one of nearly an infinite number of possible futures). Can you love yourself and others for real, right here and now?

I just had my picture taken by a professional photographer, a new picture of me for my Web site (feel free to check it out). So the question came up for me -- can I love myself for real, right here and right now? Whew.

Happy Holidays. As you visit family and friends, remember that everyone gets to be who they are. And you, to the very best of your ability, get to appreciate them for who they are. Not for who they might be, or could be, or should be, or ought to be, or who you want them to be; but appreciate them for who they are. Dare I say love them for who they are?

It may well be true -- "all you need is love." Happy holidays.

Not only is the golden rule "challenging, enlightening, irritating, delightful, informative, funny, kind, hopeful, humbling, inspiring, and seemingly endless," as I said last week, but it is simple. It is unambiguous. It is clear. Either this is something I would like another to do, think, or feel towards me, or it isn't. Period.

Of course, simple, unambiguous, and clear are not necessarily synonyms for easy.

Thanks to everyone who gave me suggestions and good wishes about my back. I was helped by your kind attention. My back is much better this week.

No Notes this week. I tripped over the cat and twisted my back, and I'm laid up. But let me just say that practicing the golden rule has been challenging, enlightening, irritating, delightful, informative, funny, kind, hopeful, humbling, inspiring, and seemingly endless.

The golden rule caused lots of comments. Before I respond, I want to give you an addendum. Don't do anything to yourself that you wouldn't wish on others.

For example, take envy. Do you ever feel envious of others? Think that their lives are easier, they have more money, more time, more of this, less of that? Envy is an unpleasant state; would you wish it on others? No? Don't do anything to yourself you wouldn't wish on others. Let envy go. Replace it with something else, something that you would wish on others. Maybe appreciation. Maybe many other things.

The launch of the Charter for Compassion (http://charterforcompassion.org/) reminds me that impeccability includes practicing the golden rule -- do unto others that which you would have them to do unto you. Don't do anything to anyone else that you wouldn't want them to do to you.

I'm tying a string around my finger to remind me to practice the golden rule this week. This is an exciting challenge. This could make a real difference in the way I experience life. I have to admit that, as well as feeling excited, I feel a bit trepidatious.

A subscriber writes: I can't tie a string on my finger easily, so I am using a magic marker! With emphasis on the magic!

The string worked its magic.

In reminding me to be impeccable, it first reminded me to slow down. It reminded me to wonder if this thing I was about to do -- this action I was about to take, this thought I was about to think, these words I was about to utter, this desire I was about to indulge in, this fantasy I was about to spin -- to wonder if it was impeccable, to wonder if it was my best.

Very often, the answer was no. And what a cause for celebration that was! What a great joy it is to move from not doing my best, to doing my best. String theory rules!

#16

I laughed and laughed after I sent a Note with two typos, saying "be impeccable." Many of you laughed with me. But it got me to wondering, how can one be impeccable? What are the means by which I can do my best in whatever I'm engaged in?

I'm tying another string around my finger. (We tied strings on October 13 to practice having no preferences. Remember? Maybe I'll rename this newsletter String Theory!)

This string will remind me to be impeccable. The string itself will be a means, of course. But the means the string reminds me of one time, and the means the string reminds me of another time, may be very different. We'll see.

When someone asks me about the string, I'll tell them I'm trying to remember to be impeccable in all I do today. And I'll ask them how they practice impeccability.

(Maybe they'll just think I'm a goofy German woman, which people south of Iowa tend to think I am -- German, that is, not necessarily goofy!)

#15

A subscriber left me a rather breathless phone message

Jett, I swear that writing Tenacity Notes has caused you to condense your not inconsiderable wisdom. This is deep stuff. Have no expectations. Have no preferences! No preferences?!?! Wow. Ooh, you ask a lot, but I love it! Bring it on!

Let me tell you something -- and you know me, you know I have no patience for BS, mine or others -- but let me tell you that I have never known such freedom as I've experienced by letting go of my expectations and my preferences. My good woman, this is hot stuff!

Let's review

You have:
* recognized that expansion is your natural state
* practiced joy and passion as the essential qualities of your life (performance)
* practiced catch, release, and celebrate
* examined your defenses
* given yourself permission to be the one you suspect you're capable of being
* been perfect, as Earth is perfect
* been impeccable for a day
* noticed what makes you happy
* released expectations
* let go of preferences

So how goes it? Let me know how you like Tenacity Notes.

I quite enjoy sending them.

#14

You've practiced having no expectations. (Tenacity Notes, August 4)

Now it's time to practice having no preferences.

Try it for a week: to the best of your ability, have no preferences.

Tie a string around your finger so you don't forget. And when people ask you about the string, tell them!

Preferences and expectations bind you to the past and to the future.

Preferences and expectations cast shadows on the present.

#13

Expansion is your natural state.

Desire is a function of expansion.

Do you know what makes you happy?

#12

Sorry for this second email, but I just couldn't let the typos go uncorrected. Ironic, don't you think, given the content? :)

"Impeccability is to do your best in whatever you’re engaged in." Don Juan Matus, to don Carlos Castaneda.

Be impeccable today.

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#11

"Impeccability is to do your best in whatever you’re engaged in." Don Juan Matus, to Don Carlos Castenada.

Be impeccable today.

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#10


A subscriber writes:

Your tenacity note comes as I struggle with my frustration at the lack of creative flow. I have picked up my beading, and am challenged to let it flow. But I want it to look like the pictures in the book, which of course it doesn't.

Thanks for the timely reminder that I am blocking my flow by whining about it, judging it, and doubting it. Is it any wonder my flow is a trickle?

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#9


I hear people insist that they must be perfect. I hear them lament that they aren't perfect. I see them give up trying because perfection is so elusive. I hear them compare themselves with others who are more perfect, who's lives are more perfect. Then I hear them despair because others are perfect and they're not.

People believe that they must be perfect in order to be loved. Maybe so.

But how are we to know what perfection is? I remember that we are beings in bodies on this planet Earth. Not only are we on Earth, we are of Earth -- we are made of the same stuff as our awesome, perfect planet. And how is Earth perfect? What is perfection on Earth? Expansion, growth, mistakes, change, chaos, movement, destruction, evolution, renewal.

So yes, go ahead and be perfect. Be as perfect as Earth.

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#8

The degree to which you are undefended is the degree to which you can experience life as an adventure. What are your defenses?

(Hint: we've already talked about one -- expectation.)

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#7

How many of us give ourselves permission to become the one we suspect we are capable of being?

In 1954, Alan Ginsberg was living a comfortable middle class life in San Francisco. He had a high paying job in market research and an upscale apartment. But he was not happy. His therapist asked him what he wanted to do, and he said he wanted to quit -- quit the job, the tie, the suit, the apartment on Nob Hill and "get a room with Peter, and devote myself to writing and contemplation, to Blake and smoking pot, and doing whatever I wanted." He did. Then he wrote his masterpiece, "Howl."

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#6

Remember last week? Practice catch and release? There's a third step: celebrate.

Practice catch and release. Then celebrate. Every time you catch yourself blocking your expansion, don't be mad at yourself, be glad. Exclaim "Good Catch!" or dance a little jig, or pat yourself on the back, or just smile knowingly to yourself. You can't release what you don't catch, and every release removes a blockage to your expansion. Acknowledge every catch and release with a moment of happy celebration.

Catch, release, celebrate. Remember, expansion is your natural state.

P.S. Next week I'll send a Breath and Water newsletter but not a Tenacity Notes.

#5

Expansion is your natural state. One way to allow your expansion is to notice the ways you block it. Catch yourself blocking your expansion, and release the block. Catch and release.

Take our example from last week -- expectation, particularly subconscious expectation. Catch your expectation, then release it. Release expectation and see what happens.

Perhaps you will replace expectation with curiosity.

Practice catch and release.

#4

Expansion is your natural state. Flow happens. Joy and passion are essential qualities.

But what about when flow isn't happening, when joy and passion have gone missing? What then? Then, look to ways you block the flow, ways you limit your expansion.

One superb blocking agent is expectation. Are you frustrated, unhappy, confused, anxious? Search for expectations, especially covert or automatic ones, that you have about yourself, about others, about situations.

When you relinquish expectation, you may well find that you have restored flow.

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#3

I heard an interview with Stanley Drucker, the recently retired principle clarinetist for the NY Philharmonic Orchestra. He performed with the orchestra for 60 years. He said that there are two essential elements to any performance -- joy and passion.

Assume for a moment that Shakespeare had it right; all the world really is a stage and we are the players. Life is the play, and you, as an aspect of your greater consciousness, are the actor. It is an extemporaneous performance! Do you have the two essential elements?

#2

I like the idea that expansion is our natural state. Flow happens. We just have to recognize the ways we block it. There is a certain feeling in your body when you are resisting your expansion, a certain vibration, a certain tone, maybe even a particular aroma. What is it?

Remember, expansion is your natural state.

#1

The first Tenacity Notes, excerpted from The Breath and Water Club Newsletter #60.

I became curious about how we come to be embodied. How do we move from non-physical to physical? I have an image of that, but the image requires an assumption -- the assumption I mentioned in the April newsletter, the assumption that we are more than our physical selves. You, in your physical form, are one aspect of you in your non-physical form. Today I'll call that non-physical form "entity."

So here's the image. You, as entity, decide to visit this particular dimension, this Earth reality. Perhaps you (as entity) have something you want to learn or teach, or maybe you just want to play here. Eagerly, joyfully, you focus your intent and desire until it bursts through into physical manifestation.

That bursting through is a massive expansion, and that expansion is your life force. Thus, expansion is your natural state.

Expansion fulfilled

You are now both "you embodied" and "you as entity." The energy of your expansion provides the possibility that your embodied consciousness can be aware of, and can experience, "you as entity." You can know yourself as both part and whole. You as part can know you as whole -- to a certain degree, anyway. In that knowing, much is possible. Your purpose can be lived with certainty, with ease, and with joy.

If expansion is your natural state, how do you live in harmony with it? Maybe that's what Tenacity Notes will ponder for a few weeks.