#72

Pause and breathe . . . appreciate where you are . . . breathe . . . appreciate who you are . . . breathe.

Repeat often.

#71

Happy Holidays...

Remember: you have nothing to prove.

Remember: everyone gets to be who they are, and that includes you.

Remember: appreciation -- of others as they are, but especially of yourself as you are -- is a (the?) path to fulfillment.

...with ease and grace.

#70

There is no template for impeccability, but there is this: if you do something that you know (feel, suspect, believe) is bad for you, it is very likely bad for you. If you do something that you know (etc.) is good for you, it is very likely good for you.

So if going home to put my feet up with pizza and wine and a movie is something that I believe to be bad for me, it would behoove me to either change my belief about it or not do it. In other words, going home to put my feet up with pizza and wine and a movie is neutral — neither impeccable or not impeccable; neither fulfilling or not fulfilling, neither good nor bad. If I believe it's bad, it's bad. If I believe it's beneficial, then it's beneficial.

And I can't pretend to believe it's beneficial. That's the same as believing it's bad.

Impeccability could be described as following what you know to be true. Impeccability could be described as my actions being in alignment with my truth.

But wait.

What about people who harass women entering a clinic for an abortion? Might the harassers be in alignment with their truth? Are they being impeccable?

What about peace activists who lie down in front of tanks? Are they being impeccable?

Can people whose actions I deplore be acting impeccably?

But wait!

Is it my business whether or not anyone else is being impeccable? Can I know anything about anyone else's truth? If I am concerned about impeccability, only MY impeccability is worth my concern.

Do you remember that a couple of weeks ago feeling glum was my ally? Feeling glum reminded me to emanate love. Well, here's another ally -- when I find myself questioning another's impeccability, it is a reminder for me to tend to my own.

#69

Compassion, a work in progress.

One of you wrote:
"I wanted to write you an answer to 'What does compassion mean?' But I can't verbalize it. I thought about it for days and days in November, and I heard the word compassion everywhere I went day after day after day! And I've been having lots of memories that make me say to myself: 'Oh yes, that's compassion' But how to describe it to a visitor from Mars? I know what it isn't — it isn't feeling ashamed, it isn't blaming, it isn't even forgiveness."

Nurses seemed to have an easy time defining compassion:
"It's my job!"
"As a nurse, compassion has always meant the 'action you do for your patient that lessens her/his suffering.' "

People sent quotes.
* This one from Joseph Campbell: "Compassion for me is just what the word says: it is ‘suffering with.’ It is an immediate participation in the suffering of another to such a degree that you forget yourself and your own safety and spontaneously do what’s necessary."
* This one from the Merriam Webster dictionary: "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it."
* And even one from me: "Compassion is what you've always taught us: to live life with an open heart and no judgment!"

Most people's definitions included the desire to help others:
"To me, compassion is like empathy, but it is accompanied by a desire to help. I have compassion for alcoholics, because I understand their struggles, and I have a desire to help them."

Or being with:
"What comes to me is empathy and being able to be with our own and other's suffering without having to fix it."

What compassion feels like:
"A tingling in my body."
"A feeling of expansion in my heart."
"A warm glowing."
"It feels the same as emanating love feels."

What have I learned? That we each have our own definition of and experience with compassion. Those definitions are similar, but not necessarily the same. But however different our definitions are, it seems to me that we all mean some form of being available, emotionally and physically, to others who are in need.

I've been working on my own definition of compassion (which changes with each new email I get from you!) Today, it goes something like this: First of all, seeing others, being aware of the people in my life, being conscious of the people in my world. Then, accepting their condition, accepting them for who they are, as they are; and to the best of my ability, loving them as they are. And finally, standing ready to be of service. Being willing to help, not to fix them, but to support them in their own goals for themselves.

I still like the everyday guidance of the Golden Rule. Don't do anything to anyone else that I wouldn't want done to me. Interact with others in a way I'd like to be interacted with.

Thanks for participating in this discussion. I don't think we've reached the end of it yet.

Speaking of being available to others, you could help me today. Our trailer goes to the shop today for new axles and springs. If you'd like to, please joyfully imagine me and Debra leaving Kansas with light hearts, heading for Oklahoma and points south, pulling our trailer, straight and true and smooth behind us.

#68

I'm taking a week off. On our way from Duluth, Minnesota to Blanco, Texas, we're stopped about mid-way, in Chanute, Kansas, with some perplexing trailer issues. I tend towards being anxious, worried, mad, and generally freaked out about it; and I want to use that tendency to remind myself to emanate love. Whew.

When I was sick with pneumonia, I stopped using my Intention Cards. I just recently returned to them. I love using them -- they bring me serenity and enlightening introspection, and I love looking at them. And they bring positive results. I do imbue each set with the energy of joyful fulfillment before I put them in the mail; and from all reports it works. I am so glad! You can see them on my Web site.

I'll be back with Tenacity Notes next week.

Don't worry, I won't keep talking about my Intention Cards in every Tenacity Notes. It's just that I am so excited about them! But I do have one request — if you have any ideas about places/ways I can market/sell them, please let me know. Thank you kindly.

#67

Fulfillment has something to do with being impeccable. Remembering that being impeccable means to do my best in whatever I'm engaged in, am I not sometimes acting impeccably when I give myself a little slack?

If doing my best includes effort, self-judgment, comparing myself with others, etc. — then it's not really my best, is it? I may need to give myself a rest from trying so hard; then maybe I can find out who I'm capable of being.

There is no template for impeccability. There is no template for fulfillment. Not that there aren't templates offered by various religions and other belief systems; but really, there is no template for fulfillment. Do your best in whatever you are engaged in. If doing your best means going home to put your feet up with pizza and a glass of wine and a movie — then that is your best. Then that is you being impeccable.

It's not for me to say what is your best. It's not for me to say what is impeccable for you. The question isn't what is impeccable for anyone else. The question isn't how can you be impeccable in the way that someone else is. The question is: what is impeccable for you?

FYI, I'm getting all kinds of reports about the Intention Cards — little miracles, profound insights, synchronicities galore, and just plain fun. I'm so glad!

#66

I have an announcement, one that I am pleased as punch to share with you: I have something I want you to see; it's something I'm selling, something that I made — Intention Cards. I think they're pretty cool, and people who already have them have had lovely things to say about them — they are inspiring, they love using them, they use them every day, they are beautiful, they are useful, they really do work.

You can see my Intention Cards on my Web site, on the Intention Cards page. www.savvypsychic.com/IntentionCards

You can buy them there, too. They come with a little booklet that has some suggestions of ways to use the cards, and tells about how I make them. Please look at them and tell me what you think. Need I remind you that we are entering the holiday buying season? They'll make very nice gifts.

I have a string around my finger that I'd like to tell you about. Actually it is a twist tie, which may be even better than a string, because it's more irritating and captures my attention more often. Lately, I have been mulling over the idea of "surrendering to my potential." I have a sense that I have more capacity than I am using. The irritating twist tie is to remind me to pause and ask if, at that moment, my behavior, or thought, or belief, or attitude furthers my ability to surrender to my potential or not.

I must say that I don't really know what surrendering to my potential means, I don't know what it might look like in my life. But I don't need to know that. All I need to know is that I want to experience it — I want to experience surrender, and I want to experience my full potential. That's my intent. The details are not my concern. As my friend Doris said, all I know is that it will be better than I ever could have imagined.

So for now, my spiritual practice is the twist tie around my finger, reminding me to continue to ask the question, about whatever it is that I'm in the midst of — does it enable my surrender, or does it inhibit it.

Oh my goodness, there's a new Intention Card for me to draw: Surrender. I'll get right on it.

You know, I will continue to create new cards, even after you buy your set. But don't worry. When I come up with a new card, I'll send it to you. So no matter when you buy your cards, you'll always have a complete set.

#65

Thanks a lot for your thoughtful replies about compassion. They're all so interesting and varied. I have lots to digest. If you haven't responded, it's not too late. (It's never too late to write to me.) I'll write more about it soon.

One of you defined compassion as, "When someone is 'barking' at me, interpreting their words, behaviors, and energy as 'Help me, Please!' "

I got a bit barky after being sick for so long (just ask Debra!) The other thing I got was bleak. Depressed. Life seemed gray. I'd been sick in one way or another since late September, culminating with pneumonia. I hadn't been breathing much at all, just little shallow breaths, certainly not my 15 minutes of intentional breathing. I was ill, I was hurting, and I was bummed out.

As I lay in bed feeling bleak, I asked myself some questions. It seemed obvious that feeling good physically makes it easier to feel good generally. But is it a given that my physical state determines my mental state? Don't I know something that could be of use to me now?

I remembered that many of you had written to me about your delight in using the practice of emanating love. One of you said, "It's like a charm."

So as I lay in bed, coughing, short on oxygen, and feeling weak and depleted, I emanated love. It worked like a charm! Bleakness fled, depression lifted, and I felt something like contentment. Now, whenever I begin to feel glum, I take that as a reminder to emanate love.

Feeling glum is my ally, it reminds me to emanate love! There are lots of other allies, too. Fear, anxiety, blame, shame, comparing, judgment, crabbiness, aloofness, and so on and so forth. All of them allies, reminding me to emanate love.

It's true that I generally consider myself to be of robust health, and even at my sickest I knew it would pass. I don't in any way want to make light of anyone else's suffering. But I do want to gently suggest that if you're ever feeling glum, try emanating love.

We practice emanating love for the joy of it. And we also practice so that when we come up against a tough situation, we have well-honed skills readily at hand.

Emanating love is a way to be compassionate towards yourself.

#64

What is Compassion?

When my niece was a squirrely 5-year-old, we were crossing a busy street and I said to her, "This is a busy street, I want you to pay attention." She stomped her foot in exasperation and said, "I have to look to the right, I have to look to the left, and now I have to pay attention! How can I do all that and cross the street too?"

She was right. The meaning of "look to the left" is clear, it needs no explanation. But "pay attention" doesn't mean anything unless you know what it means.

What does compassion mean?

That's why I like the Golden Rule, it's meaning is clear — don't do or think or feel anything towards another that you wouldn't want someone to do or think or feel towards you. I get that.

But "compassion" is like "pay attention." It doesn't mean anything if you don't know what it means. I never know what people mean when they mention compassion.

Do you have a working definition of compassion? Can you explain compassion to me in a way that is connected to the body (look to the left, look to the right), in a way that gives directions I can follow?

I suppose I could read some books, but I'd rather not. I learn better when someone tells me. Please share with me your definition of compassion. What does compassion look like in your life?

I'm serious. Write back and tell me what "compassion" means to you. Thank you.

#63

Grieve.

I have spoken of fear, the fear that results in dire warnings, in hoarding and gun buying; the same fear that engenders the Unsafe Litany.

I have the sense that this fear is related to grief. Specifically, it is related to our reluctance to grieve. Why is it useful to grieve? Because grief is sister to love, and the depth of our grief will expose us to the depth of our love. We turn our backs on grief because our grief and our love make us vulnerable. And so they should -- vulnerability is our birthright.

Earth is worthy of our grief. Start with, for example, the Gulf of Mexico. Move on from there. Every neighborhood deserves a wailing wall.

Grief denied can too easily turn into fear — the fear that shows up as dire warnings, as fortress building, and as much, much worse. Grief realized exposes our love, and love can become the ground we stand upon.

Touch the depth of your grief for our dear planet Earth. Let your grief open you wide to the depth of your love for her and all who inhabit her. Let your abiding love guide your actions.

#62

Speaking of emanating love, here's an image that you might find useful.

Imagine that the energy of love appears as short bursts of brilliant energy. Then imagine that the opposite of love, fear, appears as long stands of energy. You can see from that image that it is always possible for love to break up fear, but fear can have no effect on love.

When I first started my practice of emanating love, when I was teaching shoe repair, I used that image. As I walked through my day I imagined, I experienced, short bursts of beautiful energy flowing out from me, and I knew that it was love. It felt good, it was fun, and better yet, it made a difference.

That's really all I did. I didn't try to act a certain way, or think a certain way. I merely emanated love. What a powerful practice it is. What a difference it makes.

Try it. Let me know how it feels.

P.S. I've updated the Where is Jett section of my Web site, including some cool photos. Check it out. Go to http://www.savvypsychic.com/ to Where is Jett?

#61

First of all, welcome to everyone who signed up for Tenacity Notes at the Duluth Holistic Expo. You've joined us in the midst of a discussion about emanating love. You can read all the past issues of Tenacity Notes by going to the Tenacity page of my Web site. www.savvypsychic.com

As some of you readers know, I was a shoemaker for 15 years, and for 7 of those years I taught shoe repair at Minneapolis Technical College. During most of the time I was at MTC, I practiced emanating the energy of love.

There was a table in the lunchroom, a round table, where several instructors would gather every morning for coffee break. It was a lively group, and we did a lot of joshing and laughing. A couple of us also did a lot of challenging people's assumptions about race and gender and class. It was always an invigorating 20 minutes. I felt fortunate to be part of such a interesting and entertaining group.

Some weeks after I left that job, I saw one of the instructors from the round table. I asked him how everyone was, and told him I missed those morning coffee breaks. He said that they had not met at that round table since the day I left. He said, "without you, there was no reason to meet." I was flabbergasted.

I didn't practice emanating love in order to be liked or even in order to be a good person. I did it merely because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, when I look back, I can see how profoundly that practice informed and shaped my experience at MTC.

Let me be clear. I didn't practice being a loving person. I practiced emanating love.

I think that if I had practiced being a loving person, the effects would not have been so profound. I would have acted like some idea I had of what a loving person acts like. I might have made a list of the attributes of a loving person, and tried to embody those attributes. There's nothing wrong with such a practice, but can you see that those attributes are details? Instead of practicing being a loving person, I practiced emanating the energy of love, and I let the details take care of themselves. As indeed they did.

Give it a try, practice emanating the energy of love. I wonder where it will take you?

#60

You've probably heard it:
The End of Days is coming! Stockpile canned goods! Erect a fortress! Lock the gates! Buy a gun! 2012! It's the end of everything we know!

Maybe so.

I have had occasion to "look" at that whole scenario psychically, when asked to do so by a client during a reading, which by the way is a very rare request, and this is what I've seen; a faint shimmer of instability around our Earth.

This instability strikes me as an exciting opportunity.

Think of a person who is grounded, solid and standing firm. It would take a big effort to move that person in any direction. But if that person is unstable, say in the transition of taking a step, just a little nudge can easily change her direction.

So it is with the instability of planet -- we have an opportunity now to fairly easily affect the direction our world is taking. Each of us can give Earth a little nudge. All we have to do is know the direction we want Earth to take. I myself am in favor of the direction of love, of compassion, of community and cooperation, of reverence for Earth.

How do I make that nudge? The energy I emanate is the direction I nudge Earth towards.

If the energy you emanate is the direction of your nudge, then you should be very careful of stockpiling food and building fortresses and buying guns. Because if those activities are based in fear, which it seems to me they are, then fear is where you're nudging Earth to go. Ask yourself: do I want to send us deeper into fear?

Ask yourself: What energy am I emanating? Is that the direction I want for our dear planet? Is that the energy I want for my life?

#59

Today is International Peace Day. I'm going to join A Million Minutes For Peace, and pause for one minute at noon and pray for peace. Although I don't know that what I'll do could really be defined as praying -- I won't be petitioning Anyone for anything. I'll be finding peace in myself, feeling and experiencing that peace, then emanating it.

The emanating part is inevitable. We're always emanating, whether we're conscious of it or not. Choosing the quality of energy you want to emanate means choosing the quality of energy you want to experience, and then actually experiencing it. In my one minute "prayer" today, I'll experience peace, and thus, inevitably, I'll emanate it. With practice, I'll be able to do it for more than a minute at a time!

You can always choose what you want to emanate. When you don't consciously choose, your emotional response to life tends to be habitual and automatic, tends to be from the past rather than the present. Ask yourself throughout this day, "What am I choosing to feel right now? What am I emanating?"

#58

Not fair!!

It's true, it's not fair.

Actually, there is no such thing as fair; there is just life -- messy, mysterious, miraculous, miserable, magnificent, meaningful and meaningless life.

You can look to nature to see that fairness is not a natural concept. Is the forest fire fair to all the creatures who get burnt to a crisp?

Eschew fair. After all, fair is a form of expectation, isn't it?

Rather than lament the unfairness of life, we are better off meeting life with an open heart and curiosity. Impeccability is to do your best in whatever you're engaged in -- to do your best with life as it is. Forget about life as it should be. I strongly suspect that if you do your best with life as it is, you'll soon come to discover that life is, has become, as it should be.

Remember that I'll be at the Duluth Holistic Expo at the DECC on October 2 and 3.

#57

Last week we talked about retrieving pieces of self caught in another time and place -- resolving one's history. That is why I pay close attention to resentment and regret. They are clear indications of retrieval to be done. They are the X that marks where to dig for treasure. Where there is regret or resentment, where there is a grievance of any kind, there is an unresolved situation.

#56

I made a grammatical faux pas in Tenacity Notes #54 (I used effect when I should have used affect.) Thanks to those of you who wrote to me about it. I'm glad you did. Let me tell you why I am grateful.

You may remember that I was going to keep an Impeccability Journal in order to notice ways that I was being less than impeccable in my life. This is one for the journal. At the time I wrote that issue, I knew my use of effect was probably wrong, but I leapt over that knowing. It's a tendency I have, to know something and then, quicker than a flash, to not notice that I know it. If you hadn't written to me about my mistake, I may well have let it slide -- I may well have allowed it to remain unresolved.

At the risk of having another long issue, another long issue that could be much longer, let me describe what this looks like on an energy level.

When I know something and I refuse to acknowledge my knowing, I create an unresolved situation. I dare say that all of us have many unresolved situations in our day to day life -- interactions that do not to come to completion. More often than not, unresolved interactions include another person or people. In this example, I created an unresolved situation with just myself.

Okay, that was the introduction. Here's the guts.

Every time any interaction goes unresolved, some energetic part of me remains there in that time -- it remains there but it also stays connected to me. If you could look at me energetically, you would see thousands, maybe millions, of threads of energy reaching back from me to the pieces of me that remained behind in unresolved experiences. And so it is with you.

Added all together, that's a fair bit of my energy that I don't have access to in present time. I don't have access to it because it has stayed in the time and place where it became unresolved.

It is the nature of unresolved energy to seek resolution. It seeks resolution by creating a disturbance. Such as making a grammatical error in public! Unresolved energy seeks resolution, and will always seek resolution, ad infinitum. A truism: Every disturbance in your life is an opportunity to retrieve an aspect of your own energy. Every disturbance in your life, no matter how obviously at fault the other person is, is first and foremost a message to you from you, a message from a part left behind.

If I pick up the thread of this particular unresolved situation, which I'll call not acknowledging my knowing, I can follow it back to an earlier act of "not acknowledging," and an earlier one, and an earlier one, and so on, until I come to the initial act of not acknowledging. With this one thread, there are very likely hundreds of instances -- hundreds of pieces of me left in the past.

It's a safe bet that my initial act of "not acknowledging" was done in an attempt to feel safe. In other words, my tendency to not acknowledge my knowing is a way of being defended. This is just one way that our defenses block our flow of joy -- by limiting our access to our own energy.

This is why I suggest that we need to "resolve our history." When we do, when we resolve situations that have gone unresolved, the piece of self that remained there is released and comes to present time. Then I have more of me available for living now, I have more possibility for joy, I am more able to live an impeccable life.

#55

It's all about freedom.

It's why we want to resolve our history; it's why we want to release our defenses, our expectations, our addictions, and even our preferences; it's why we want to investigate our beliefs; it's why we want to let go of worrying about being safe -- because all of that puts limits on our freedom, our freedom to be who we came here to be; our freedom to dwell in the energy of love, of joy, of wonder.

It's all about freedom, freedom from fear. I might even say that it's all about freedom from believing in safety.

#54

The last Tenacity Notes brought up some questions and comments. In fact, there are a few questions I've been asked over the months that are waiting for issues of their own: What do I mean when I say resolve your history? I talk a lot about being defended, what do I mean by that? I'm working on it.

By the way, do you see that this is issue #54? We began Tenacity Notes on July 13, 2009. Over a year of weekly Notes. Did you know they come out every Tuesday morning? Did you know that I'd like to have more subscribers? Please: refer others to Tenacity Notes. All anyone has to do to subscribe is email me -- either via my Web site, or by replying to this email. Thanks.

As to the last issue, one subscriber wrote:
I don't think all the emotional difficulties we have are always reducible to the individual. We're also beings that are oriented toward each other, and we sense and feel what's going on socially as well as what's going on within our individual psyches. To my mind, we miss some of the picture if we ignore the social aspect of emotions like fear, [especially] the deliberate whipping up and maintaining of fear in the population that makes for a more docile electorate. Though I reject their phony and cynical manipulation of my psyche, I think it does have real effects on me, and on everyone.

Yes indeed, I agree -- we are beings that are oriented toward each other, and we do sense and feel what's going on socially, and it does have real effects on us. But if we respond to the deliberate whipping up of fear by wringing our hands and reciting our Litanies, we only participate in making that fear feel like the truth; we spread it, like the plague.

We are oriented toward each other, and we are affected by the cultural climate. But that works the other way too -- others are affected by us, by the quality of our energy; we can influence the cultural climate with our own energy. Said another way, the reciting of your Unsafe Litany not only brings you down, it brings others down as well.

The subscriber goes on to say:
We must be even more committed than ever to personal practices that calm us and reduce stress, like breathing, yoga, meditation, etc. [I insert: the practices of the Breath and Water Club] We must continue to do our personal work, just as you remind us in Tenacity Notes. And we also need to remain aware of how our fears are being manipulated for political purposes. I don't think we can avoid the impact entirely, but we can endeavor to stay a half-step away from it, to keep it in view rather than letting it completely overtake us. And talk about this with others. Of course, being politically engaged in trying to create a society that isn't based on fear also helps in personal and social ways.

In other words, we can find ways to respond to fear other than by being fearful. Just as we can find ways to respond to actual danger other than by being fearful. As another subscriber said a few issues ago, quoting "a Tibetan Buddhist guy," Your job is to come to a place of fearlessness.

Reciting your Unsafe Litany keeps you bound to fear.

P.S. I am currently living 15 miles north and west of downtown Duluth. I can see the Milky Way here. It's a long time since I've seen the Milky Way, and it gives me a unique, which is to say Uncommon, perspective.

#53

The Unsafe Litany...
...and a longer than usual Tenacity Notes. It has two parts. I hope you can persevere to the end.

Part One

Many of us feel unsafe in the world. And we justify the feeling of unsafety by reciting our list of the things that we believe make us unsafe -- our Unsafe Litany. I feel unsafe, let me count and recount the reasons why. But the result of reciting your litany is an enhanced feeling of being unsafe. It is truly a vicious cycle. Your Unsafe Litany is not just a list of reasons why you feel unsafe, it is, in itself, unsafe to use. It is an unsafe Litany. It hurts you.

Do you have such a Litany? Don't say no yet. First, notice. You may not even be aware that you have one. Then, when you catch yourself beginning your litany, see if you can stop. See if you can turn it around. I used to have a pretty extensive Unsafe Litany myself -- polluted water and air, bad emanations from electronic devices, corporations taking over the world, golf courses drinking all the water. Is it any wonder I felt unsafe, reciting that Litany as often as I did? One day, I realized that my Unsafe Litany was making me sick, and I pledged to stop. I chose instead to pay attention to resiliency, to our innate ability to heal, and to the glory of diversity.

The Unsafe Litany is a personal thing; we each have our own. And while you believe wholeheartedly in your Unsafe Litany, you may think that other Unsafe Litanies are baloney. Unsafe Litanies can include many things -- gay marriage, black teenagers sighted in the neighborhood, Muslims, Jews, Mexicans, taxes, global warming, Communism, Catholics, Republicans...

Whatever your own Unsafe Litany includes, the reciting of it will only serve to make you feel unsafe. In justifying your feeling of unsafety, you exacerbate it. Say it this way -- your Unsafe Litany is fear-based. And fear is a toxic emotion, every bit as toxic as plastic or gasoline.

Part Two

I would like to suggest that your feeling of being unsafe in the world has a kernel of truth in it; and that kernel is memory.

It is the nature of childhood to be unsafe; it is the nature of childhood to be unsafe and to learn that unsafety can lead to increased safety, and beyond that to another unsafety, and on and on.

Would you have ever taken your first step if safety was essential? What if you had stopped the first time you fell down and banged your head on the coffee table, and instead of walking you became fearful and vigilant, always on the lookout for coffee tables? A bizarre notion, right?

Thank goodness for development urges, because they keep us going, even in the face of unsafety. The urge to walk is greater than the mistrust of coffee tables. And so we learn that unsafety needn't stop us, we can conquer it and move on to the next unsafe learning experience. A bicycle!

But for many of us, the unsafety of childhood was truly dangerous, and was never conquered, indeed could not be conquered. And being unconquered, being unresolved, it remains alive within.

I would also like to suggest this: your Unsafe Litany is an attempt to explain a feeling of unsafety that cannot be explained in present time, because it is not a present time feeling, it exists in your history. It exists in your history, but it also exists in your body. All your emotions, no matter where they actually exist in time, are felt in your body, and your body is a present time phenomenon.

Your feeling of unsafety does not exist in present time, but it feels like it exists in present time, because it is experienced in your body. Thus, your Unsafe Litany is inaccurate. Which is why it doesn't satisfy.

I'll go out on a limb and make a prediction. When you resolve your history, your feeling of being unsafe in the world will diminish or disappear altogether. Then, no need for your Litany; you will recognize it's irrelevance.

While this "note" is far from brief, it could be considerably longer. So please, if you have questions about what I've said, if you want to argue with it, if you have examples -- please contact me (go to my Web site) and tell me. Thanks.

#52

I was reading my Tenacity Notes blog the other morning, reading the past issues. (You know how to find the past issues, don't you?) I was taken with the idea of impeccability. I was taken with it because, as I read, I had the distinct sense that I haven't been living impeccably lately. But what, concretely, does that mean? How do I know that I'm not living impeccably? What's the evidence? I want to recognize specific ways that my lack of impeccability shows up.

To that end, I am attempting to do two things:

One, keep a journal. I have only very occasionally kept a private journal, and I never knew why I was doing it. What was it's purpose? Now I have something of a purpose -- a desire for structure that will aid in my investigation of ways to live impeccably. I can have a discussion with myself about living impeccably, and I can have a discussion with myself about how I'm doing.

Two, a daily, or at least frequent, meditation on resentments and regrets. A meditation during which I will bring to mind old grievances and release them. In other words, I will retrieve myself from my history.

What do you think of my plan?

P.S. By this time next week I should be in Duluth. If you're up there and want to schedule an in-person reading, call or email me. If you're in the Cities, or other places within traveling distance of Duluth, think about coming to up and get a reading. Duluth is a lovely, lovely town.

#51

Today, enjoy being you. Today, like yourself.

#50

Here are some of your responses from Tenacity Notes #47 -- Eschew Expectations
I invite you to smile along with me.

"That's impossible. You really pissed me off with this one, Jett."
I guess I touched a nerve!

A day later, from the above reader:
"On second thought (fourth or fifth thought actually) I'll give it a try. Grrrrrr....."
When something stirs up an emotional response in us, there are riches there for us. Never doubt it.

"When I discover an expectation I try to remember this quote from some Al-Anon sisters -- 'Expectations are planned resentments.' It always makes me chuckle."
Yes, a good chuckle. And a good truism.

"So well and concisely said, Jett! I'd put up a sign, 'deep benefit available here.' We can't hear this enough... Now, if I can just convince [my wife] about this."
This one made me guffaw!

" [In] my circle of women. . . we made it simple to remember. It’s the 100/0 rule. You give 100% and expect 0% (nothing)! It works, and it’s easy to remember!"
You could also say, 100% openheartedness, 100% love, 100% appreciation,100% acceptance. 0% expectations. A good recipe!

And several of you said variations of "This is SO helpful!"

#49

Mortals, gods, apotheothenai, friend,
what bridge, what road, doesn't double as runway?
~ Andrea Cohen

Last week I said, about the choices others in your life make: "You have no idea where any particular choice will lead them, what path it will set them upon, what big-picture outcome it will engender."

That's no less true of the choices you make. Every path leads you somewhere. And from that somewhere, somewhere else. In that way, it is foolhardy to believe that you can make a wrong choice.

Trust yourself -- not that you'll make the "right" decision, but trust that you'll take off, you'll soar, from whatever path you take. Every road can double as a runway.

#48

I know I've talked about this before, but lately the topic has been nudging me something fierce. It wants attention.

Expectations.

They can get you into such trouble.

Try an experiment -- for a week, or a month, or a year, or from now on. Eschew expectation. Catch your expectations. Catch yourself reacting to someone because they didn't meet your expectations. And then purify yourself -- release your expectations, set them aside.

Do you expect your siblings to be reasonable? Let it go. Do you expect your lover to be appreciative? Let it go. Do you expect your grown children to make intelligent choices? Let it go. Do you expect your boss to be fair? Let it go.

Do you expect your siblings to be reasonable? Let go of that expectation, and then you become the very epitome of reasonableness -- with your siblings and in every aspect of your life. Just try it. Let them be who they are, and you become what you desire from them.

Do you expect your grown children to make intelligent choices? Let go of that expectation, and use your own intelligence to acknowledge that you have no idea whether their choices are intelligent or not. You have no idea where any particular choice will lead them, what path it will set them upon, what big-picture outcome it will engender. Let go of that expectation, and see how your relationship with your children changes.

Do you expect your lover to be appreciative? Let go of that expectation. Then, instead of ragging on him for not being appreciative, you practice being appreciative of your lover! You practice being appreciative of your life! You practice being appreciative of yourself.

And no, I'm asking you to become a doormat. I'm asking you to let go of your expectations. You may find that you love the way it feels to not be irritated because someone isn't living up to your expectations. Let go. Try it.

Too often, we are offended when others don't meet our expectations. Offended, disappointed, angered, saddened, outraged. Most of the time, letting go of those expectations is the best course of action. And please don't say no it isn't until you've tried it.

Just try it. A week, a month, a year. Give it a chance. I am willing to bet that you'll find that you are happier; you'll find that you are more like the person you want to be. When you let go of expectations you hold for others, when you begin to allow others to simply be who they are, it can be like a little miracle. You begin to be curious about the other, you begin to feel ease in your relationship, and you begin to feel freedom within yourself. Your expectations hold the other hostage, and your expectations hold you hostage.

As with everything, this takes practice. You'll have to be diligent in order to catch them. You'll have to be courageous to release them. But you can do it. Eschew expectations.

And please let me know how it goes. Share your experiences with me and with all of us.

And let's not forget that you have expectations of yourself, many of them handed down from others, that are worth letting go of, too.

#47

I feel lucky to be becalmed someplace where there is a recreation center with a pool. I swim laps pretty much every day, and I love it. I get into the water, and in no time at all, I'm smiling. I love swimming! I've always loved swimming -- and that's how I've always said it: I love swimming. Lately, since the disaster in the gulf, I have been intentionally loving the water while I'm in it. And now, instead of saying I love swimming, I say (and feel) that I love the water.

So too when I drink -- I intentionally, and with great happiness, love the water. It's easy to feel happy about water while I'm drinking it. (I seldom drink anything other than water, unless it's wine, so I've been intentionally loving that, too.)

If all water is connected, including the part of me that is water, then my loving the water in the pool in North Liberty, Iowa, touches the water in the Gulf of Mexico. My loving water as I drink it, influences all water, everywhere.

Please remember that your intent can alter the quality of the water. I reminded you of these Breath and Water Newsletter issues once before (March 22, 2010 Tenacity Notes) and here they are again. They are about the influence intent has on our food, our drink, our life. Look them over.

*Imbue and Imbibe, #16
*Intentional Eating, #27 and Intentional Eating, #28
*Icky Rice #44

#46

This issue is written entirely by a subscriber:

Jett, I don't know if I told you about my going to a lecture several years ago by some old Tibetan Buddhist guy, who was talking about meditation and healing (he had been very ill, and is now healthy -- I forget the details.)

One of the things he said was that fear interferes with clear thinking, so our best decisions are made when we are not fearful. That made sense to me, so when the question-and-answer period came I had a question for him:

My partner [I said] is going through chemotherapy right now, and we talk to a lot of doctors about her treatment and the decisions we have to make about her care going forward. Yet, every time we talk to a doctor, it seems like they try to frighten us with stories about mortality rates and the seriousness of cancer and so forth. And THEN we are supposed to make clear decisions. How to deal with this?

He smiled broadly and answered pretty much like this (translated from whatever language he spoke):

"Don't try to change the doctor; he or she is just doing their job. The doctor's job is to try to instill fear in you. Your job is to come to a place of fearlessness."

I think he's right, and his words just about knocked me over!

I think this is what you are talking about this week.

You have touched me deeply with your past two issues. Thank you, Jett!

#45

One thing driving has taught me, is that you have to look in the direction you want to go. If I'm looking backwards while I'm moving forwards, I won't be very successful. In fact, it's a recipe for disaster.

Likewise in my life, in my relationships. If I'm focused on what's behind me, I won't be very successful in moving forward. If I'm focused on resentments, regrets, or unresolved hurts, I can't move forward at all gracefully. I had best bring resolution to my history, because it is the very nature of unresolved energy to snare us and turn us backwards. When we are mired in the past, moving forward is at best a clumsy effort.

Let's say I'm caring for my elderly mother, and she isn't in a state to participate in resolving the past. (I've been hearing that a lot lately.) Maybe she has dementia, or maybe she's just unwilling. Or maybe she's dead. Her state really doesn't matter. The energy of any unresolved situation keeps me looking backward and thus messes with my forward movement. I must resolve it. How?

It has something to do with acceptance. Accepting her for who she is, coming to terms with the truth of who she was. And it has something to do with expectations -- with letting go of my expectations that she will love me, that she will be curious about my life, that she will have remorse, that she will (fill in the blank). Coming to terms with who she is, and releasing my expectations of who I want her to be, will allow me to have a relationship with her based on present time truth. It will allow me to move forward with grace.

This is true of any relationship -- my spouse, my neighbor, my friend, my family members, my boss. If I expect my boss to be fair, and he isn't, the sooner I can accept him for who he is, the sooner I can make thoughtful decisions about my job. Letting go of expectations allows me to see him for who he is, and stop lamenting who he isn't. Then I'm facing forward, then I can move on.

There's more to resolving my history than this, but accepting people for who they are and letting go of expectations is an excellent place to begin.

#44

"The single most important element in developing an expertise is your willingness to practice."
G. Rubin.

Everything you do is practice. All day long, you're developing an expertise. The question is, are you practicing being who you truly want to be?

When it comes to practice, I was lucky. In 1980, I got a job driving city bus in Minneapolis. I'd been a bus passenger all my life, so I knew that a bus driver could influence a person's well-being - a friendly bus driver has happy passengers, a crabby bus driver has (creates) unhappy passengers.

I wanted to be the best bus driver, so I made a vow to myself: I would greet every passenger with a smile and a warm hello. Every passenger, even the ones who reeked of cigarette smoke or perfume; even the snooty; even the surly; even the wierdos - every one of them would get a genuine smile and a friendly hello from me.

I kept that vow, and I had happy passengers who thought I was the best. (Of course, I was a first-rate driver, and they loved that, too.) But, and this I hadn't expected, that vow changed my life. As I practiced being the best bus driver, I became a better person.

Compared to who I was before I was a bus driver, it was like night and day. I went from being chronically judgmental, arrogant, antagonistic, and insecure, to being kind, and curious about others (although only marginally less judgmental). Eventually, after many, many more years of practice, I became a happy person, and truly less judgmental.

Even though it's many years since I was a professional, I still practice being the best driver. Every time I get behind the wheel, I remind myself that I'm practicing to be the best, I hone my skills. Maybe that's why I enjoy driving so much.

And I still practice being the best me. Every morning, I remind myself that this day is an opportunity to really be who I know I'm capable of being.

I had three years of intense practice at unconditional love. Every day, 5 days a week, I smiled sincerely at hundreds of individual people. Not many of us get such a profound practice intensive. Maybe most don't need it as badly as I did. But we are all practicing to be the person we want to be. The trick is to remember that we're practicing, to remember that it's all practice.

Today, practice. Be the self you know you're capable of being. Develop an expertise in being the best you.

Do you have a string for your finger?

#43

The statement from last week's reader, "It's clear sailing now," gave rise to this image: The act of getting born is also the act of leaping into an unfathomable abyss. You are still falling in that abyss, although there are opportunities to create wings as you fall.

You create your wings with every situation you encounter, every choice you make, every thought you think. When you are open and undefended, your wings are marvelous instruments of soaring beauty, and the abyss is a place of wonder. When you are defended (and you know that defendedness can take a myriad of forms) your wings don't support you well, and the abyss seems a foul place.

#42

A Tenacity Notes subscriber reports

"I got your packet of cards. Thanks for sending them. I'd been in the thick of a conflict with my husband. I kept going over and over in my mind my list of grievances against him, and it's a list that goes back decades. Then I drew a card from your pack. It was #20, from December 8, 2009. In it, you suggest that I ask if this thing I'm doing is something that I'd like another to do towards me.

Would I like my husband to keep a list of his grievances against me and go over and over them in his mind? Duh, no! That very same day, (cue the woo-woo music) your next Tenacity Notes came in the mail. In that, you suggest that I ask myself, "What do I want?" [April 27] So now, every time I start replaying that damnable list, I stop and ask myself what kind of relationship I want. Then, instead of trying to get him to be who I think he should be in order for me to get what I want, I try to be who I need to be in order to have the relationship I want (as you also taught me). What a difference! It's clear sailing now!

Thanks for Tenacity Notes. Thanks for making the packet. Thanks for suggesting how I might use them. This is very helpful."

#41

As part of my endeavor to have more fun, I've taken up laughing out loud. It's a goofy thing to do, laughing out loud all by myself, and doing it makes me laugh. And when I think about it during the day, that makes me laugh.

I laugh out loud in the morning, after my breathing. If I do it before I breathe, I find myself snickering through my breathing. lol

P.S. If you're someone who likes to keep track of where I am, I've updated my "Where is Jett?" page on my Web site. Check it out.

#40

Have fun!

Our definition of fun changes over the years. When we're 4, we like to twirl around until we fall down. When we're 64, that's probably not what we do for fun.

But the value of fun does not diminish as we age and change. Fun is rejuvenating. Exhilaration is healing. Do it today; have fun!

#39

I ask myself "What do I want?" And my answer today is that I want to feel free and interested in life.

What I want will be my guide. I'll ask, "How can I interact with life in a way that allows me to feel free and interested in life? What choices, in every situation, allow me to feel free and interested in life? What thoughts, what actions, what perspectives, allow me to feel free and interested in life?"

Good questions.

Ask yourself: "What do I want?"

#38

Tenacity Notice

I have a few clients who don't use email, and they have asked me if I would send Tenacity Notes to them in print form.

After some thought and experimentation, I've decided I can offer Tenacity Notes as a weekly postcard. I figure it'll cost me about $20 to send Tenacity Notes for a year, so I am requesting a minimum subscription of $25.

It seems to me that the main reason people don't have email is because they can't afford it, which might make a $25 subscription hard to reach. So I'm creating a fund for those who want a subscription but don't have the money. I invite you to send a donation to that fund. You can donate via Paypal on my Web site -- the "Pay Now" button on the "Schedule a Reading" page (be sure to mention what it's for). Or you can contact me if you want to send a check. Thanks.

The postcard isn't just for those who don't use email. Anyone can subscribe. You can give a gift subscription. Let me know if you want to subscribe to a weekly Tenacity Notes postcard. You can contact me via jett@mm.com or 612-965-9708.

Some of you have told me that you copy Tenacity Notes to 3x5 cards; that you like to pick them at random as part of your spiritual practice. We've been doing Tenacity Notes for about 10 months. If you'd like a packet of Tenacity Notes postcards from the beginning to now, I'll do that for you, also for $25. Just let me know.

Lastly, if you know someone who you think would like to receive the print form of Tenacity Notes, please pass the word to them. Thanks.

#37

"Walking on water wasn't built in a day."
Jack Kerouac

(This is actually a Breath and Water Club Newsletter. But it put me in mind of Tenacity Notes from July 28, 2009, so I included it here.)

Why are we doing this?

Do you remember why we began this Breath and Water Club?

This is from my December, 2004 invitation to form a club: "Some of you may remember the following suggestion I gave in my classes: Drink 8 glasses of water a day and breathe for 15 minutes twice a day. Do that for 6 months and your life will change in ways you never dreamed of."

Practice is the means and the end

Breathing and drinking water every day is a good enough end in itself. But for us, it is more than that. It is also a means. A means to what end? That's the mystery -- it's a means to an end that will only be known when it arrives.

Some of you found that the daily practice of Breath and Water eliminated long held physical aches and pains. Some found that they'd finally gotten pregnant, or gotten their master's degree. Some were surprised to find a desire that led them to a new career when they thought they were preparing for retirement. Some found unimagined ease in this or that relationship. Some found that life wasn't as onerous as they'd thought. What have you found?

Practice prepares the ground. Practice creates the foundation.

The daily practice of Breath and Water creates a foundation from which your life can take off.

Ray Charles went to his studio every day to practice the piano. What did he practice? He practiced the scales. He practiced the basics. Did he play the scales when he performed? No, of course not. But his daily practice of the basics prepared the ground, so that when he performed, he could soar.

That's why we're doing this.

We're practicing Breath and Water for it's own sake, because it's good for us. But mostly, we're practicing Breath and Water because it prepares the ground so that, in our lives, we can soar.

Breathe: 15 minutes of intentional breathing twice a day.
Drink: 8 glasses of water a day.

#36

I am still intrigued by that poem fragment from last week's Note. I've been reading it and thinking about it ever since.

I am withholding something, and that is making me weak; it is myself I am withholding from my life; my salvation is in surrender.

I wonder what it is that I must surrender? Ah, I must surrender my defenses!

Why? Because life is an adventure, and as we know from all good tales, adventure takes place beyond the walled city, out in the unknown world. Without vulnerability, there is no real adventure.

I surrender my defenses, engage the adventure of life, and see what happens!

#35

I am intrigued by a fragment of a Robert Frost poem:

"Something we were withholding made us weak.
Until we found out that it was ourselves
We were withholding from our land of living,
And forthwith found salvation in surrender."

#34

As you may know, every couple of months I publish the newsletter of the Breath and water Club. When I do that, I don't publish a Tenacity Notes issue that week. Here, then, is The Breath and Water Club Newsletter #65.

You can find all the issues of the newsletter of the Breath and Water Club on my Web site.

Breathe: 15 minutes of intentional breathing twice a day.
Drink: 8 glasses of water a day.

Remember Icky Rice?
A reader suggested that I remind you to re-read the issues on eating and drinking:

*Imbue and Imbibe, #16
*Intentional Eating, #27 and Intentional Eating, #28
*Icky Rice #44

I re-read them, which got me to talking with friends and acquaintances about the ideas in them. So I've been hearing people's stories about intent, and eating and drinking, and healing -- and I am inspired all over again.

I invite you to read the issues and be inspired to investigate the possibilities you have to literally eat and drink health and well-being.

#33


My Web site has a new design. Check out the new Savvy Psychic look.

Working with the site, I realized that the Tenacity Notes page was getting really long and unwieldy. So I created a blog, with a link on the Tenacity Web Page to the blog. I hope that will be an easier way to look at past Notes. Take a look, and please let me know what you think. Thanks.

It was fun to review all the past Notes as I was transferring them to the blog. Some that particularly caught my eye were: July 28, 2009; and being impeccable; and the golden rule; and January 5, 2010; and string theory rules.

What are some of your favorites? Let me know. I can publish a favorites list.

There is a feature on each blog entry for emailing it to a friend (an envelope icon at the bottom of each post). I hope you'll use that feature frequently.

"If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something." Isn't that true in every aspect of our lives?

Esteemed historian, activist, and teacher Howard Zinn died in January. In a newsletter I subscribe to, Nygaard Notes, I learned of a 2004 article of Zinn's published in The Nation magazine entitled “The Optimism of Uncertainty.” The Optimism of Uncertainty could be another name for Tenacity notes! The Optimism of Not Knowing; The Optimism of Not Needing to Know; The Optimism of the Unknowable; The Optimism of the Great Mystery; The Optimism of Surrendering the Illusion That I Know...

Anyway, Nygaard quoted the closing words from that article:

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."

"If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something." Doesn't that make good sense?

What is the purpose of art? What is the role of art in your life?

This week, immerse yourself in art. Look at pictures, draw a picture, take a picture, read a novel, attend a poetry reading, write a short story, make a book, listen to music, play music, see a performance, sing, dance, audition.

What does it mean to be open-hearted? How does it feel? Can you feel it in your body, in your own physical heart? Describe that physical feeling. Describe it out loud. Describe it now.

What are you if you're not open-hearted? Fearful? Defended? Can you feel that in your body? Describe what that physical feeling is.

Practice switching back and forth, from one feeling to the other. Feel open-hearted. Feel not-open-hearted. Switch back and forth, and back again, and again. Practice it now.

Then, as you walk through your day, notice what it is you're feeling in your body, in your heart. Open-heartedness? Rejoice, smile, dance a little jig. Not-open-heartedness? Switch.

There is nothing for you to be against.

There is plenty for you to be for -- including yourself.

A reader sent me the lyrics to an old Frank Sinatra song:

Once there was a silly old ram
Thought he'd punch a hole in a dam
No one could make that ram, scram
He kept buttin' that dam.

'Cause he had high hopes, he had high hopes
he had high apple pie in the sky hopes.

So any time you're feeling bad
'stead of feelin' sad
Just remember that ram.
Oops there goes a billion kilowatt dam.

Some of our dams in the stream of love are huge. Many were given to us already built -- built by our families, our teachers, our religions, our communities. But we can learn from that "silly old ram," and with perseverance we can release that which doesn't serve us, even if it's a billion kilowatt dam.

It was not easy for me to write, two weeks ago: "assume that when you are not experiencing joy it's because you placed a dam in the stream of love."

I thought of all the people I know who have suffered much. How dare I suggest that they had placed dams in the stream of love? But you wrote to me, several of you. You spoke of looking for those dams, even in the depths of your grief and suffering. You told me that finding and removing the dams changed your loss and suffering in pivotal ways. You thanked me for suggesting that you had placed dams and that you could remove them.

Thank you. Now I am clearer than ever -- when I am not experiencing joy, I first and foremost look for dams.

Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"We are deeply in need of a new way beyond the darkness that seems so close around us. [This new way is] an all-embracing and unconditional love for all mankind. This oft-misunderstood, this oft-misinterpreted concept, so readily dismissed by the Nietzsches of the world as a weak and cowardly force, has now become an absolute necessity for the survival of man.

"When I speak of love, I’m not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. I’m not speaking of a force which is just emotional bosh. I’m speaking of that force which... [is] the supreme unifying principle of life.

"Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality. Let us hope that this spirit will become the order of the day."

What if what the sages say is true? What if it's true that all you need is love? What if it's true that the essence of all of creation is joy?

Is there a way you can test it? Yes.

Assume, for a little while at least, that it is true, that the essence of your being is joy. Furthermore, assume that when you are not experiencing joy it's because you placed a dam in the stream of love. You placed the dam, and you can remove it.

How? It's all about letting go of your defenses.

Try it for a week. Not experiencing joy? Look for the dam. Let me know what you find.

#23

You have nothing to prove.
(nothing to justify, nothing to defend, nothing to explain, nothing to fear)