#56
I made a grammatical faux pas in Tenacity Notes #54 (I used effect when I should have used affect.) Thanks to those of you who wrote to me about it. I'm glad you did. Let me tell you why I am grateful.
You may remember that I was going to keep an Impeccability Journal in order to notice ways that I was being less than impeccable in my life. This is one for the journal. At the time I wrote that issue, I knew my use of effect was probably wrong, but I leapt over that knowing. It's a tendency I have, to know something and then, quicker than a flash, to not notice that I know it. If you hadn't written to me about my mistake, I may well have let it slide -- I may well have allowed it to remain unresolved.
At the risk of having another long issue, another long issue that could be much longer, let me describe what this looks like on an energy level.
When I know something and I refuse to acknowledge my knowing, I create an unresolved situation. I dare say that all of us have many unresolved situations in our day to day life -- interactions that do not to come to completion. More often than not, unresolved interactions include another person or people. In this example, I created an unresolved situation with just myself.
Okay, that was the introduction. Here's the guts.
Every time any interaction goes unresolved, some energetic part of me remains there in that time -- it remains there but it also stays connected to me. If you could look at me energetically, you would see thousands, maybe millions, of threads of energy reaching back from me to the pieces of me that remained behind in unresolved experiences. And so it is with you.
Added all together, that's a fair bit of my energy that I don't have access to in present time. I don't have access to it because it has stayed in the time and place where it became unresolved.
It is the nature of unresolved energy to seek resolution. It seeks resolution by creating a disturbance. Such as making a grammatical error in public! Unresolved energy seeks resolution, and will always seek resolution, ad infinitum. A truism: Every disturbance in your life is an opportunity to retrieve an aspect of your own energy. Every disturbance in your life, no matter how obviously at fault the other person is, is first and foremost a message to you from you, a message from a part left behind.
If I pick up the thread of this particular unresolved situation, which I'll call not acknowledging my knowing, I can follow it back to an earlier act of "not acknowledging," and an earlier one, and an earlier one, and so on, until I come to the initial act of not acknowledging. With this one thread, there are very likely hundreds of instances -- hundreds of pieces of me left in the past.
It's a safe bet that my initial act of "not acknowledging" was done in an attempt to feel safe. In other words, my tendency to not acknowledge my knowing is a way of being defended. This is just one way that our defenses block our flow of joy -- by limiting our access to our own energy.
This is why I suggest that we need to "resolve our history." When we do, when we resolve situations that have gone unresolved, the piece of self that remained there is released and comes to present time. Then I have more of me available for living now, I have more possibility for joy, I am more able to live an impeccable life.
August 30, 2010
August 17, 2010
#55
It's all about freedom.
It's why we want to resolve our history; it's why we want to release our defenses, our expectations, our addictions, and even our preferences; it's why we want to investigate our beliefs; it's why we want to let go of worrying about being safe -- because all of that puts limits on our freedom, our freedom to be who we came here to be; our freedom to dwell in the energy of love, of joy, of wonder.
It's all about freedom, freedom from fear. I might even say that it's all about freedom from believing in safety.
It's all about freedom.
It's why we want to resolve our history; it's why we want to release our defenses, our expectations, our addictions, and even our preferences; it's why we want to investigate our beliefs; it's why we want to let go of worrying about being safe -- because all of that puts limits on our freedom, our freedom to be who we came here to be; our freedom to dwell in the energy of love, of joy, of wonder.
It's all about freedom, freedom from fear. I might even say that it's all about freedom from believing in safety.
August 10, 2010
#54
The last Tenacity Notes brought up some questions and comments. In fact, there are a few questions I've been asked over the months that are waiting for issues of their own: What do I mean when I say resolve your history? I talk a lot about being defended, what do I mean by that? I'm working on it.
By the way, do you see that this is issue #54? We began Tenacity Notes on July 13, 2009. Over a year of weekly Notes. Did you know they come out every Tuesday morning? Did you know that I'd like to have more subscribers? Please: refer others to Tenacity Notes. All anyone has to do to subscribe is email me -- either via my Web site, or by replying to this email. Thanks.
As to the last issue, one subscriber wrote:
I don't think all the emotional difficulties we have are always reducible to the individual. We're also beings that are oriented toward each other, and we sense and feel what's going on socially as well as what's going on within our individual psyches. To my mind, we miss some of the picture if we ignore the social aspect of emotions like fear, [especially] the deliberate whipping up and maintaining of fear in the population that makes for a more docile electorate. Though I reject their phony and cynical manipulation of my psyche, I think it does have real effects on me, and on everyone.
Yes indeed, I agree -- we are beings that are oriented toward each other, and we do sense and feel what's going on socially, and it does have real effects on us. But if we respond to the deliberate whipping up of fear by wringing our hands and reciting our Litanies, we only participate in making that fear feel like the truth; we spread it, like the plague.
We are oriented toward each other, and we are affected by the cultural climate. But that works the other way too -- others are affected by us, by the quality of our energy; we can influence the cultural climate with our own energy. Said another way, the reciting of your Unsafe Litany not only brings you down, it brings others down as well.
The subscriber goes on to say:
We must be even more committed than ever to personal practices that calm us and reduce stress, like breathing, yoga, meditation, etc. [I insert: the practices of the Breath and Water Club] We must continue to do our personal work, just as you remind us in Tenacity Notes. And we also need to remain aware of how our fears are being manipulated for political purposes. I don't think we can avoid the impact entirely, but we can endeavor to stay a half-step away from it, to keep it in view rather than letting it completely overtake us. And talk about this with others. Of course, being politically engaged in trying to create a society that isn't based on fear also helps in personal and social ways.
In other words, we can find ways to respond to fear other than by being fearful. Just as we can find ways to respond to actual danger other than by being fearful. As another subscriber said a few issues ago, quoting "a Tibetan Buddhist guy," Your job is to come to a place of fearlessness.
Reciting your Unsafe Litany keeps you bound to fear.
P.S. I am currently living 15 miles north and west of downtown Duluth. I can see the Milky Way here. It's a long time since I've seen the Milky Way, and it gives me a unique, which is to say Uncommon, perspective.
The last Tenacity Notes brought up some questions and comments. In fact, there are a few questions I've been asked over the months that are waiting for issues of their own: What do I mean when I say resolve your history? I talk a lot about being defended, what do I mean by that? I'm working on it.
By the way, do you see that this is issue #54? We began Tenacity Notes on July 13, 2009. Over a year of weekly Notes. Did you know they come out every Tuesday morning? Did you know that I'd like to have more subscribers? Please: refer others to Tenacity Notes. All anyone has to do to subscribe is email me -- either via my Web site, or by replying to this email. Thanks.
As to the last issue, one subscriber wrote:
I don't think all the emotional difficulties we have are always reducible to the individual. We're also beings that are oriented toward each other, and we sense and feel what's going on socially as well as what's going on within our individual psyches. To my mind, we miss some of the picture if we ignore the social aspect of emotions like fear, [especially] the deliberate whipping up and maintaining of fear in the population that makes for a more docile electorate. Though I reject their phony and cynical manipulation of my psyche, I think it does have real effects on me, and on everyone.
Yes indeed, I agree -- we are beings that are oriented toward each other, and we do sense and feel what's going on socially, and it does have real effects on us. But if we respond to the deliberate whipping up of fear by wringing our hands and reciting our Litanies, we only participate in making that fear feel like the truth; we spread it, like the plague.
We are oriented toward each other, and we are affected by the cultural climate. But that works the other way too -- others are affected by us, by the quality of our energy; we can influence the cultural climate with our own energy. Said another way, the reciting of your Unsafe Litany not only brings you down, it brings others down as well.
The subscriber goes on to say:
We must be even more committed than ever to personal practices that calm us and reduce stress, like breathing, yoga, meditation, etc. [I insert: the practices of the Breath and Water Club] We must continue to do our personal work, just as you remind us in Tenacity Notes. And we also need to remain aware of how our fears are being manipulated for political purposes. I don't think we can avoid the impact entirely, but we can endeavor to stay a half-step away from it, to keep it in view rather than letting it completely overtake us. And talk about this with others. Of course, being politically engaged in trying to create a society that isn't based on fear also helps in personal and social ways.
In other words, we can find ways to respond to fear other than by being fearful. Just as we can find ways to respond to actual danger other than by being fearful. As another subscriber said a few issues ago, quoting "a Tibetan Buddhist guy," Your job is to come to a place of fearlessness.
Reciting your Unsafe Litany keeps you bound to fear.
P.S. I am currently living 15 miles north and west of downtown Duluth. I can see the Milky Way here. It's a long time since I've seen the Milky Way, and it gives me a unique, which is to say Uncommon, perspective.
August 5, 2010
#53
The Unsafe Litany...
...and a longer than usual Tenacity Notes. It has two parts. I hope you can persevere to the end.
Part One
Many of us feel unsafe in the world. And we justify the feeling of unsafety by reciting our list of the things that we believe make us unsafe -- our Unsafe Litany. I feel unsafe, let me count and recount the reasons why. But the result of reciting your litany is an enhanced feeling of being unsafe. It is truly a vicious cycle. Your Unsafe Litany is not just a list of reasons why you feel unsafe, it is, in itself, unsafe to use. It is an unsafe Litany. It hurts you.
Do you have such a Litany? Don't say no yet. First, notice. You may not even be aware that you have one. Then, when you catch yourself beginning your litany, see if you can stop. See if you can turn it around. I used to have a pretty extensive Unsafe Litany myself -- polluted water and air, bad emanations from electronic devices, corporations taking over the world, golf courses drinking all the water. Is it any wonder I felt unsafe, reciting that Litany as often as I did? One day, I realized that my Unsafe Litany was making me sick, and I pledged to stop. I chose instead to pay attention to resiliency, to our innate ability to heal, and to the glory of diversity.
The Unsafe Litany is a personal thing; we each have our own. And while you believe wholeheartedly in your Unsafe Litany, you may think that other Unsafe Litanies are baloney. Unsafe Litanies can include many things -- gay marriage, black teenagers sighted in the neighborhood, Muslims, Jews, Mexicans, taxes, global warming, Communism, Catholics, Republicans...
Whatever your own Unsafe Litany includes, the reciting of it will only serve to make you feel unsafe. In justifying your feeling of unsafety, you exacerbate it. Say it this way -- your Unsafe Litany is fear-based. And fear is a toxic emotion, every bit as toxic as plastic or gasoline.
Part Two
I would like to suggest that your feeling of being unsafe in the world has a kernel of truth in it; and that kernel is memory.
It is the nature of childhood to be unsafe; it is the nature of childhood to be unsafe and to learn that unsafety can lead to increased safety, and beyond that to another unsafety, and on and on.
Would you have ever taken your first step if safety was essential? What if you had stopped the first time you fell down and banged your head on the coffee table, and instead of walking you became fearful and vigilant, always on the lookout for coffee tables? A bizarre notion, right?
Thank goodness for development urges, because they keep us going, even in the face of unsafety. The urge to walk is greater than the mistrust of coffee tables. And so we learn that unsafety needn't stop us, we can conquer it and move on to the next unsafe learning experience. A bicycle!
But for many of us, the unsafety of childhood was truly dangerous, and was never conquered, indeed could not be conquered. And being unconquered, being unresolved, it remains alive within.
I would also like to suggest this: your Unsafe Litany is an attempt to explain a feeling of unsafety that cannot be explained in present time, because it is not a present time feeling, it exists in your history. It exists in your history, but it also exists in your body. All your emotions, no matter where they actually exist in time, are felt in your body, and your body is a present time phenomenon.
Your feeling of unsafety does not exist in present time, but it feels like it exists in present time, because it is experienced in your body. Thus, your Unsafe Litany is inaccurate. Which is why it doesn't satisfy.
I'll go out on a limb and make a prediction. When you resolve your history, your feeling of being unsafe in the world will diminish or disappear altogether. Then, no need for your Litany; you will recognize it's irrelevance.
While this "note" is far from brief, it could be considerably longer. So please, if you have questions about what I've said, if you want to argue with it, if you have examples -- please contact me (go to my Web site) and tell me. Thanks.
The Unsafe Litany...
...and a longer than usual Tenacity Notes. It has two parts. I hope you can persevere to the end.
Part One
Many of us feel unsafe in the world. And we justify the feeling of unsafety by reciting our list of the things that we believe make us unsafe -- our Unsafe Litany. I feel unsafe, let me count and recount the reasons why. But the result of reciting your litany is an enhanced feeling of being unsafe. It is truly a vicious cycle. Your Unsafe Litany is not just a list of reasons why you feel unsafe, it is, in itself, unsafe to use. It is an unsafe Litany. It hurts you.
Do you have such a Litany? Don't say no yet. First, notice. You may not even be aware that you have one. Then, when you catch yourself beginning your litany, see if you can stop. See if you can turn it around. I used to have a pretty extensive Unsafe Litany myself -- polluted water and air, bad emanations from electronic devices, corporations taking over the world, golf courses drinking all the water. Is it any wonder I felt unsafe, reciting that Litany as often as I did? One day, I realized that my Unsafe Litany was making me sick, and I pledged to stop. I chose instead to pay attention to resiliency, to our innate ability to heal, and to the glory of diversity.
The Unsafe Litany is a personal thing; we each have our own. And while you believe wholeheartedly in your Unsafe Litany, you may think that other Unsafe Litanies are baloney. Unsafe Litanies can include many things -- gay marriage, black teenagers sighted in the neighborhood, Muslims, Jews, Mexicans, taxes, global warming, Communism, Catholics, Republicans...
Whatever your own Unsafe Litany includes, the reciting of it will only serve to make you feel unsafe. In justifying your feeling of unsafety, you exacerbate it. Say it this way -- your Unsafe Litany is fear-based. And fear is a toxic emotion, every bit as toxic as plastic or gasoline.
Part Two
I would like to suggest that your feeling of being unsafe in the world has a kernel of truth in it; and that kernel is memory.
It is the nature of childhood to be unsafe; it is the nature of childhood to be unsafe and to learn that unsafety can lead to increased safety, and beyond that to another unsafety, and on and on.
Would you have ever taken your first step if safety was essential? What if you had stopped the first time you fell down and banged your head on the coffee table, and instead of walking you became fearful and vigilant, always on the lookout for coffee tables? A bizarre notion, right?
Thank goodness for development urges, because they keep us going, even in the face of unsafety. The urge to walk is greater than the mistrust of coffee tables. And so we learn that unsafety needn't stop us, we can conquer it and move on to the next unsafe learning experience. A bicycle!
But for many of us, the unsafety of childhood was truly dangerous, and was never conquered, indeed could not be conquered. And being unconquered, being unresolved, it remains alive within.
I would also like to suggest this: your Unsafe Litany is an attempt to explain a feeling of unsafety that cannot be explained in present time, because it is not a present time feeling, it exists in your history. It exists in your history, but it also exists in your body. All your emotions, no matter where they actually exist in time, are felt in your body, and your body is a present time phenomenon.
Your feeling of unsafety does not exist in present time, but it feels like it exists in present time, because it is experienced in your body. Thus, your Unsafe Litany is inaccurate. Which is why it doesn't satisfy.
I'll go out on a limb and make a prediction. When you resolve your history, your feeling of being unsafe in the world will diminish or disappear altogether. Then, no need for your Litany; you will recognize it's irrelevance.
While this "note" is far from brief, it could be considerably longer. So please, if you have questions about what I've said, if you want to argue with it, if you have examples -- please contact me (go to my Web site) and tell me. Thanks.
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